Grief

We all know different cultures handle grief and loss differently. For some grief is a very quiet, private and solemn affair. Some wail, pull at their hair and make a lot of noise. Still others might dance and sing. Each person goes through a grief process, dictated by their own feelings or culture. And yes much has been written on that grief process. In my work as a paramedic I have seen grief handled in many different ways, sometimes surprising ways and sometimes wholly expected.

The other night I was asked by a family to transport a woman whose main complaint was grief. She had suddenly lost a relative in a conflict overseas and after much open and vocal grieving had now ‘shut down’. She was not talking to anybody, was lying on the couch, refusing to open her eyes, refusing eat or drink and was worrying her large family who had gathered around her. I struggled a bit on the night as to what was the best course of action for this woman, she wasn’t physically unwell and although you could argue she had experienced some kind of emotional breakdown, she was actually grieving, and grief is something that I don’t think western medicine handles very well.

Her family were adamant that she needed to go to hospital and be seen by a doctor, she appeared to be wishing we would all go away (yeah I know that’s me projecting onto her) and in the end even after we suggested that a locum doctor (home visit) might be more appropriate for her – meaning she would still be seen but could remain at home rather than waiting at hospital – the family insisted that we take her. I’m still not convinced it was the right thing to do.

Has anyone else been to something like this?